I Survived Another Day, By God’s Grace.

Today I sort of took a day off from the world.

I sat on my comfortable, plush bed with my baby daughter next to me and was thankful for every moment. I believe God sent her to me to help heal and soften my heart. She brought magic back to my world. I couldn’t even lay eyes on a baby girl for ten years without wanting to cry. She came 13 years after I prayed for her, but she came, healthy and beautiful.

Her little presence made me not want to give up; looking at her I realized I had to live for her sake, to protect her, to love and care for her. She gave me the extra push I needed to make it through today.

But …. I allowed myself to grieve. I cried softly, then sobbed out loud because I couldn’t help it. The hurt had to get out somehow.

I tried to make a very painful day as manageable as possible. I wrote to my niece, made her a card, and sent flowers and balloons to her door. I couldn’t help it. Now that she can read and understand, now that she is growing up, slowly we can reunite.

The last years we haven’t seen her we have been waiting for her to get to this point. I explained thoroughly before why we had to cease visits, for the time being, and I think the entire family being near-death, losing our marriages, being shipped far away, family split apart, being restricted with every phone call, every visit being watched and treated like animals, we had no choice but to wait until she got bigger. We need her to be able to understand. Being ” strangers in the park ” , literally, it was unhealthy for everyone involved.

Freezing at the park, first thing in the morning, restricted to 3 hours with a monitor we were required to pay for because they didn’t ‘trust’ us. That is so ridiculous that it’s almost funny. We’re not the ones who ripped a baby away from an unknowing and loving family that wanted their baby. We could never do such a thing regardless of the paperwork we had. I would have said,          ‘ void it all ‘, and would place that child in the arms of the mother myself, personally. Along with a big hug and wishing them the best of life together.

I would think that God had another baby in mind for me, and I would have waited for a child that literally had no one.  I couldn’t take a child away from their blood family to make a pretend one of my own. All the piles of paperwork in the world will never make her ‘theirs.’

Ever so gently we will ease our way into her life and heart, and there will be no turning back. I have the utmost faith that my niece will one day look at me and say “auntie.”  It will happen and when it does, I will thank God that He answered. I will feel free.

For the last two years I have left messages for attorneys that won’t call me back because they know where our family stands and what our family believes to be true; which is an adoption-for-profit set up by a third-party who had no right to do anything of the sort.

So we just wait until that light at the end of the tunnel, which is my niece’s eighteenth birthday. We’re more than halfway there, one day we’ll be done having to wait.

I’m glad I made it through today and I’m more glad that I will keep that same faith tomorrow. I will never give up hope, I will stand strong in waiting for my niece to come home.

One day closer ….

 

My Wish For Today ….

What I would have done today…. Because I still get to make a wish for my niece ….

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.
I would have gotten up and scattered turquoise and pink balloons through the house. Flowers would be delivered to your school this afternoon. I would be there to meet you for lunch, with pizza, cupcakes, and balloons for your classmates.

After school would have been time spent together, your favorite dinner (hopefully one day I’ll know what that is), and maybe a movie since it’s a school night.

Of course a family celebration and barbecue would be happening on Sunday afternoon. Since this is a milestone birthday, I would have tastefully overdone the decorations. (smile)

The event planner in me would have made sure every detail was perfect; from appetizer trays to the goodie bags. The auntie in me would have pulled you aside and given you the biggest hug, and of course the best present. I’ve literally visualized this day for so long I can’t believe it’s finally here.

Here it is and all I want to do is sit still in the dark and not even speak. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and they just fall one after another. I swallow hard because it hurts.

One day it won’t be like this. We’ll be catching up, we’ll be falling in love moment by moment. We’ll have her to hold.

The most important thing I would’ve given you today was me. The love I have for you fills my heart and only gets deeper. If it takes a thousand years, we will find each other, be able to reach and feel the other reach back ….

 

Happy 10th Birthday, sweetheart….

I love you so much.

 

 

Love,

Auntie 

Happy Birthday to My Beloved Niece ….

My little love:

 

I have dreamed of you for so long.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be with you to celebrate this very special birthday.

We are waiting patiently until you are of legal age to make your own choices and have no restrictions with us, your true family. We can’t even tell you who we are, but when you turn eighteen, it will be a brand new day.

Your mom, brother, sister, cousins, everyone is waiting for you….

Today, it will take all my strength to survive. The crying spells have begun weeks ago. I’ve fallen asleep with tears for so long, I don’t remember what it was like when I got a good night’s sleep.

When you believe in something, never let it go. We have never let you go, even though you’ve been taken away.

You’re the missing piece our family, of our hearts.

We pray for you, we love you, and we are lost without you.

 

Happy Birthday, my babygirl. We’re more than half way there ….

 

 

Love Always,

Auntie

Days Away, In a Daze ….

My niece’s tenth birthday is two days away.

It’s a gloomy day today, almost like the sun knows that I don’t want it to come out.

Ten years of memories missed, cheeks not kissed, and an emptiness that drains my energy and makes my body and heart ache. It’s tiring.

Right now that’s all I can even get out because it all hurts so much.

I wish I could wish it all away. I want it to change, I just don’t want it to feel like this, anymore.

God Hears and Answers ….

 

gracesmile      

She’s worth every tear and every prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

Almost ten years of constant prayer. 

 

I have trusted in God with all my heart. He has changed and renewed me, He has opened my eyes.

 

All these years I have obviously prayed for the return of my first niece, but there are a few other things that I prayed for as well.

 

I prayed for patience and strength.

 

I know that I’m going to need faith, courage, and I know for a fact that my Heavenly Father carries me because I would have given up a long time ago.

 

I have made it this far, and I have a long way to go. All I keep thinking is we’re halfway there, one day all the hurt will disappear in a moment.

 

I trust in God that He will put it in my niece’s heart to understand truly that we never gave her away, her mom or us. We fought, cried, tried, and prayed. Now all we can do is prepare for her return home, and when she gets here, I want her to see all the positive things about her family.

 

We aren’t the garbage we’ve been made out to be. Her mom is a dental hygienist, I’m a preschool teacher/event planner/private investigator(2 months pending), her uncle is an Air Force veteran and works for a major beverage company, her grandma is a nurse as well as post master of the post office, her grandpa is a veteran of the Navy and is in a higher-up position at the post office, her uncle is active duty in the  Navy, her step-father is active duty  in the Navy, her cousin has just graduated high school and wants to possibly be a teacher or psychologist, her other first cousin is excelling in high school and was one of the school ‘attorneys’ and he was also a student teacher this past summer, he is very much into fitness and he writes very well. He wrote an essay for Play 60 for the Oakland Raiders, and won, so he went V.I.P to a Raider game, got to go onto the field, meet the Raiderettes, and had the time of his life.

 

We’re very loving people who have opened our hearts and homes to countless people. We take care of everyone. Just like my parents took care of Lupita and her family when they borrowed money from them for a bulk payment on their house.

 

I don’t know how many times growing up that my friends needed some kind of help, and my parents were always there, especially my mom. Not only my friends, but my parents friends were always at our house. Whoever needed a place to stay, they always knew that my parents guests’ bedroom was always open. Just like when Judy’s parents stayed in our guest room downstairs during one of their visits. My parents offered, the room was furnished beautifully with fresh, lovely linens, clean, fluffy towels in the private bathroom. They were more than welcome , and all too happy to accept the invitation.

 

We take great care of people who cross our paths. We’re very hospitable, compassionate, and extra loving and give in any way we can. When we can do it anonymously we love it even more because God alone gets the credit, our acts of kindness are not for recognition.

 

The Bible says that every man shall be ‘judged according to their works’ and I trust that to be true. When I make a mistake I repent and try not to repeat it, we try to live righteously, we show our love, we open our hearts and homes, we trust in God and try to be as devout as possible, we do unto others as they would do unto us, we are just good people and try to make others comfortable. I thank God that he made us the kind of people who  lead with their hearts.

 

In the end, I know we’ll be rewarded for our hope and faith, our trust in God, our patience, our prayers will be answered and the relief will be overwhelmingly blissful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHAME ON ADOPTION ALLIANCE & QUESTIONS FOR JANELLE

SHAME ON ADOPTION ALLIANCE.

 

Shame on Janelle , for handling an adoption that would  be a disaster of Biblical Proportions for a girl named Samantha, her baby Nevaeh, and their family.

 

The person handling the adoption…. Janelle.

 

The person Janelle was initially called by…. LUPITA.

 

The person Janelle contacted and handled the adoption with…. LUPITA.

 

The locations Samantha signed the paperwork with LUPITA at her side, Denny’s and Starbucks.

 

Place and Person Adoption Alliance faxed Samantha’s confidential adoption case paperwork regarding Interstate Compact to…. Elliot County Courthouse paperwork to Lupita Stamos, (which a co-worker then handled.)

 

Janelle allowed a situation of such magnitude to be handled by a third-party, Lupita.

Janelle was unprofessional and showed no compassion toward Samantha, who never asked any questions and just went along with whatever she was being told to do, a girl who did not have the first clue on how to go about setting up an adoption. She was well aware of the situation. She was well aware that Samantha was terrified, alone, and outnumbered.

 

Janelle dealt with Lupita. Talked to Lupita. Set things up through Lupita.

I don’t know how much experience she had at the time, but handling an adoption at a Denny’s and at a Starbucks, through a third-party, she may as well have handled it from the back of her car.

Adoption Alliance lost their license to practice for reasons they will not disclose, less than a year after our complaints to the woman in charge of the Las Vegas office.

 

*****************************************************

 

I’ve wanted to ask Janelle these questions since I found out about her, and since she is another person that needs to be held accountable, of course I will ask the questions here.

 

So here are 155 of the million questions that our family would like answers to.

 

  1. What home study did you perform regarding the adoptive couple?
  2. What would exclude your office from conducting their own investigation regarding the adoptive couple’s background and home environment?
  3. You assumed that another party was capable of passing along information to your agency. Did you conduct your own investigation to make sure that that information was accurate and correct?
  4. Why did you allow the adoptive “mother” to set up the basic 2 visits as required minimum of a visit with Samantha?
  5. Do you believe that the responsibility of all points of contact should have been made by Samantha and not someone who was desperate for a child? You state that you tried to contact Samantha, but she did not return your call. You state that you were under time constraints because Samantha was soon to deliver, so that you in fact bypassed Samantha and spoke to Ms. Stamos, is that correct? If time was of the essence why had you not spoken to the mother instead of someone else? If this adoption is what Samantha wanted, there should have been great ease from Samantha in this situation, not a pressure to have her sign documentation immediately. Would that be safe to assume?
  6. Did Samantha ever make contact with you or your agency regarding the placement of her child? How many times did Samantha make contact with you? Why did you not insist that Samantha make contact instead of Lupita or the adoptive “mother.” At this point it was inappropriate for you to move forward regarding an adoption by someone other than the mother.
  7. If Samantha was a willing participant in the placement of her child, why did you not conduct all business with  Samantha instead of Lupita?
  8. Your first visit was between yourself, Lupita, and Samantha. Is that correct?
  9. To protect Samantha, why did you not insist that your meeting be between yourself and Samantha?
  10. Was it apparent that Samantha was vulnerable at that point?
  11. Did it ever occur to you that  Samantha could have been counseled by your expertise in waiting until after the birth of her child it were truly her decision for an adoption?
  12. Why would you assume that a Denny’s restaurant and Starbucks were appropriate places to handle something as permanent as an adoption?
  13. Would it not have been an appropriate move to have you excuse Lupita at that point? Why was she constantly present?
  14. Your agency states that adoptions are in the “best interest of the birth mother and child” is that correct?
  15. What measures did you take to be absolutely sure that this was Samantha’s  decision and not that of Lupita and her childless friend?
  16. You state that you are a social worker. As a social worker what measures did you take to protect  Samantha and her child? Did you attempt to keep mother with child?
  17. During the  meetings that took place, did you in fact give little input to assure that the mother and child remain together?
  18. Do you feel a minimum of two visits is extensive enough to make a long-term, life-altering decision?
  19. How did you access that Samantha was not coerced, was of sound mind?
  20. How much of a dialog had you had with Samantha without Lupita present?
  21. How many other birth mothers that you’ve dealt with had a spokesperson who was not a family member do all the speaking for her?
  22. You state that you met with Samantha to access her needs. What was the conclusion based on her needs?
  23. You assumed that when you asked  Samantha why she was choosing adoption and her reply being, ” I’m just mad that I let it get this far and I want it to be over with.” Could that have meant that she wanted the ADOPTION PROCESS to end? Did you even ask her what that statement meant? This was just an assumption on your part that she was referring to her pregnancy. Is that correct?
  24. You assumed that Samantha “felt” she was not meant to be a mother at such a young age. Did she state that, or did you assume that is what she meant?
  25. You state that Samantha never wavered in her opinion in wanting to give her child up for adoption, yet you state in other portions of your deposition, that the conversation was between yourself and Lupita. So  Samantha could not have said yes or no to the adoption at this point if Lupita was doing the speaking for Samantha. Is that correct?
  26. You were asked to describe Samantha’s  demeanor. You state that you had to “coax her.” So that would lead one to believe that Samantha may have been sitting silently as the conversation regarding this adoption was between you and Lupita. Would that be safe to assume?
  27. You also state that you could “tell” that Samantha was not comfortable speaking to a strange social worker that she did not know. With this statement, could this whole situation have been based on the fact she was possibly being led by Lupita and not of her own accord?
  28. You had absolutely nothing to base the mental capacity of or the vulnerability that Samantha may have been feeling at the time of your first meeting? Should that have been a red flag to further investigate  Samantha’s state of mind at this time?
  29. Do you believe that fear alone, would indicate that maybe Samantha was unwilling to speak for herself because she was an unwilling participant?
  30. You were asked if  Samantha had any tears as you were discussing the adoption process with Lupita. You stated “no.” Why would you assume that a “no” response to tears meant that Samantha was the one making her own decision and not that of Lupita? The dialog was between yourself and Lupita, again. Do no tears mean no sadness?
  31. You state that Samantha would be the one to select the adoptive parents. Wasn’t it in fact that she did not choose the couple, as she did not know them, and in fact, that it was Lupita who chose them?
  32. Were you aware that the adoptive couple were friend’s of Lupita’s sister?
  33. So if Samantha was choosing a semi-traditional adoption, shouldn’t you have asked how she came to choose the couple over all the other waiting adoptive couples on a registry list?
  34. You presented Samantha with a home study that she was to fill out. Did you find it odd that the only thing in her handwriting was of the very basics, as what personally described herself and the father of the child. The other handwriting was that of someone else, and yourself. The other party being, Lupita. Wouldn’t that be an indication that Samantha really did not understand what she was signing? And that those answers were from someone else who was arranging this adoption?
  35. You state that  Samantha checked “semi-traditional” adoption. and that the biological mother is provided with profiles by an agency. How many profiles were given to Samantha?
  36. Since the semi-traditional option was supposedly chosen, why was there contemplation the adoptive couple would be seeing the child as soon as the child was born?
  37. Your agency states that there is a 72 Hour waiting period between contact after the birth of a child, and that the child go to a receiving home. Why was this violated? Why was the adoptive couple permitted to see the child prior to that 72 Hours? Why did the child not go to a receiving home? Why were the 72 Hours violated? You state that Samantha could not sign any papers severing her parental rights, yet she signed her child to the adoptive couple at the hospital before the 72 Hours were in place. And with the adoptive couple present, wouldn’t this violate Samantha’s rights to that 72 Hours? You state that it was your understanding that Samantha understood her rights. You made this assumption because you state the wording is “straight forward.” You state she “should have” understood it. How did you make that assumption that she “should” have understood the documentation? Were you aware the adoptive couple violated this 72 Hour waiting period? Should you have not informed the hospital social worker of the 72 Hour waiting  period? If it was your job to make sure that Samantha wanted this adoption, why hadn’t you visited her yourself, in the hospital, instead of taking second-hand information from Lupita? You also state that if Samantha were to take her baby home with her, that she was “not to go off on her own somewhere, that the baby was to be with her.” Where is this stated? Would it be against the law for her to go to the store without her baby, leaving the baby with a responsible family member? Whose rule was this? And where is it written?
  38. Were you aware that following the birth of the child, that Samantha was wrapped around her baby, and Lupita stated to Samantha that the adoptive “mother” had a sad look on her face, therefore Lupita continually took  Samantha’s child out of her arms and handed the baby to the adoptive “mother.” Why were you not involved in that room when Samantha gave birth and to handle the proper procedures? Why had you not witnessed for yourself, that in fact, Samantha was making this decision on her own?       
  39. After the birth of Samantha’s child, did you make sure that Samantha would be taken care of after her child was given to the adoptive couple?
  40. Did you know where  Samantha was to go when she was released from the hospital?
  41. Did you have any alternative placement for Samantha, once her child was gone?
  42. Were you aware that after Lupita was successful in “giving” the adoptive couple a child, that Samantha was no longer welcome in Lupita’s home?
  43. Were you aware that once  Samantha’s child was gone, that Lupita threw Samantha out of her home, where Samantha then lived in her car for a week? 
  44. You state that ‘ Samantha did not want to get emotionally involved with the home study.’ If that was the case, was it her that answered those questions or someone else? That being Ms. Stamos and yourself.
  45. If she didn’t want to get ‘emotionally involved’ shouldn’t she have left all questions unanswered?
  46. You state that if  Samantha had any questions that she could reach your agency. But she never made contact with you or your agency in the first place. Wouldn’t it be safe to assume that the person who made first and original contact with you have that information and not Samantha ?
  47. Did you not hand all information to Ms. Stamos?
  48. Was it ever apparent that Ms. Stamos was the one orchestrating this adoption and not Samantha ?
  49. You state that  Samantha was not looking at other options other than adoption, yet in fact, you state that Samantha  never made contact, and that contact was made by Ms. Stamos. So how do you know that Samantha did not look into other options? Did you ask her or did you ask Ms. Stamos?
  50. You state that you prefer to meet with birth mothers alone, and that Samantha just sat there. Do you think that may have been an indication that she didn’t immediately speak up and state that she wanted Ms. Stamos there, that there was hesitation, that this could indicate that something was amiss?
  51. Ms. Stamos stated that she and Samantha had ‘no secrets.’ But in fact Ms. Stamos did have a secret, she did not make you aware that she was the one who had chosen the Carpenters and not Samantha? At any time did you ask Samantha how she came to choose the Carpenters?  
  52. When questioned about the home study, you stated that you had not read it word for word to Samantha . At this point you took it upon yourself to omit what you felt was not pertinent. You paraphrased the document. Were not these documents generated and provided for, by your agency, to have all information pertinent? So all information should have been read and not paraphrased, correct?
  53. Could you have left out some crucial information?
  54. You state that half of the home study document was only half filled out when it was given to you. If Samantha completely understood these documents, then there should have been no need or assistance from you to fill in the blanks, correct?
  55. You stated that you helped fill out questions Samantha did not know. So they were your answers and not Samantha’s. She just signed, is that correct?
  56. Did Samantha  read what you had written down or did you just write and ask her to sign?
  57. Knowing that Samantha had not graduated, but the documents stated that she did, why did you allow incorrect information to be recorded?
  58. With that fact, could not the rest of the documents have been doctored up by yourself and Ms. Stamos since Samantha did not fill in all the blanks?
  59. You state that the handwriting was Samantha’s and not yours on the home study. You assumed that the handwriting was Samantha’s, when in fact the handwriting was not hers, it was Ms. Stamos.
  60. You made the assumption without being an expert in handwriting. Once again, you went on assumption.
  61. Your testimony is full of holes by making assumptions. When you had no basis to actually say that Samantha  had no help from others in filling out these documents. It would be safe to assume, that others answered questions, including yourself and that Samantha just signed. Would that be safe to assume?
  62. You state that there was a 17 page document and that you went over the whole document with Samantha. You state that you read all the questions, but that you did not read them out loud. Why did you not read them out loud? Wouldn’t it have been easy enough to do to see that her answers would be the same?
  63. You state that Samantha never asked any questions. Isn’t it odd that not even one question was asked?
  64. You state that you spoke to Ms. Stamos about getting some really important information about Samantha’s alleged drug use. Why did you ask Ms. Stamos and Samantha?
  65. Again, all questions for Samantha, by you, had been directed through and to Ms. Stamos.
  66. You state that Samantha never gave you information herself to you about her alleged drug use. So you took the answers from someone other than the birth mother. Why?
  67. You state that even ten years down the road that if Samantha needed counseling that she could call the Adoption Alliance regarding grief and loss issues. Yet when you finally came to realization that something was amiss after Samantha and her family had questioned how this adoption took place, your agency was not available, and that in fact your deposition supports that of the Carpenters adopting Samantha’s child. Is this the kind of counseling and concerns you and your agency have?
  68. You state that Samantha didn’t ‘look like’ she would be calling you at that time for counseling. How does one assume a ‘look’ would indicate that?
  69. How many times during your deposition did you state that Samantha and her baby’s well-being was of concern to you and your agency?
  70. Your entire deposition supports the rights, and how you handled this case, all in favor of the adoptive parents and not that of the biological mother and child. Is that not correct?
  71. You assumed that Samantha had known and chosen the Carpenters to adopt her child, since Ms. Carpenter contacted you. Yet later in your deposition, you state that Samantha later on had met the Carpenters at a ‘coffee shop or something like that.’ So earlier you state that a semi-traditional adoption is where the biological mother chooses the adoptive couple. Don’t your statements contradict themselves regarding how the Carpenters came into play?
  72. You state that Samantha indicated that she did not want anyone else except the Carpenters to adopt her child. Yet she was not given profiles of others, did not know them, yet somehow the Carpenters were chosen. Did you ask how Samantha came to state that no one else was considered?
  73. You state that at Ms. Winter’s office, a friend and acquaintance of Ms. Stamos, that Samantha stated, ‘she was happy’ with her choice of the Carpenters. Yet you state that she was not ‘real talkative.’ Doesn’t this statement contradict itself? Someone who is happy, would they not seem talkative and not withdrawn?
  74. You state after the last meeting at Ms. Winters’s law office, that technically when everything went according to plan, that the Adoption Alliance’s involvement with Samantha  would be over with. Yet earlier, you state that Samantha could contact you even ten years down the road. Which is it? You lead her to believe that she could contact you at any time, yet you state that all involvement would be over with.
  75. You state that Ms. Stamos called you about the birth of Samantha’s child. Again, you spoke with Ms. Stamos and not with Samantha. Your continued dialog and involvement with this adoption points to you and Ms. Stamos in all arrangements, whether it was signing and filling out documents, setting up meetings, and continued contact. You had plenty of opportunity to speak directly to Samantha. Since you state that Samantha ‘wanted’ Ms. Stamos present regarding this adoption, and not be in full control, this did not mean that Samantha was to be completely bypassed, therefore leaving all conversations between you and Ms. Stamos. Ms. Stamos ‘presence’ versus total involvement and total control of all dialog and meetings would violate her ‘presence’ thereby leaving Samantha completely out of the loop. Did you in fact bypass Samantha?
  76. You state that you had voice message interaction with a social worker at Washoe Medical Center where the child was born. You then state that upon hearing that the child tested positive for alcohol and meth, that you contacted the Carpenters. Why didn’t you contact Samantha first, then the Carpenters? Did it not occur to you that may have been a cry for help and that Samantha was not in her right state of mind?
  77. Where was your concern for Samantha and her baby?
  78. You state that ‘Lupita’ told you that the Carpenters hadn’t seen the child yet. Yet in fact, the Carpenters were immediately present following the birth of Samantha’s child.
  79. How did you send out and or receive adoption documents by way of fax? Wasn’t it in fact, that you and Ms. Stamos corresponded through her place of employment? Again, you and Ms. Stamos were in contact, not you and Samantha.
  80. You state that after the birth of  Samantha’s baby that she was upbeat. Where did you get that information? Isn’t it true that Samantha was so distraught that everyone was asked to leave the room?
  81. At the round table meeting at Ms. Winter’s office, was Ms. Stamos present? How much of an input did Samantha have verses that of Ms. Stamos and all others present?
  82. At the signing of documentation when Ms. Winter read aloud questions, at any time did anyone explain wording i.e. irrevocable. Were the documents in layman terms or in legal jargon?
  83. On documents, Ms. Stamos states that all further contact between Samantha’s  child and the adoptive couple would be directed through her. Were you aware of this?
  84. You were aware that the father of the child had not yet given up his rights, yet you allowed the child to be taken illegally before all documents were signed.. You aided and abetted an illegal action. Why?
  85. All involved were aware that an illegal action had taken place yet all had turned a blind eye toward this illegal acceptance and adoption of a child. Why did you not stop the adoption process at that point? You were the expert. You should have known that the child should not have been placed at this time. You state that ‘ you knew there was a legal risk ‘ yet you moved forward.
  86. Did you make sure that all Samantha’s hospital bills were taken care of before the baby was illegally given to the adoptive couple?
  87. Documents filled out by Ms. Stamos states that if the adoptive couple did not pay all hospital costs, the bills would be paid for by Ms. Stamos or the Adoption Alliance. Is this standard practice?
  88. Are you aware that the bills remain unpaid and that Samantha’s wages have been garnished for payment? You state that Samantha was fully aware that she would not be responsible for the medical bills. You believed that she had Medicaid, again an assumption n your part. In fact Samantha was not covered by Medicaid, she was covered by her parent’s insurance and could not get Medicaid. Were you aware that Lupita took Samantha to apply for Medicaid? You state that whatever Medicaid did not pay, that the agency and the adoptive couple would pay the bills. Did you follow through and make sure those bills were paid? Are you aware that to date these bills remain unpaid? Should you have done your job fully and have all the payment for costs in place before the child was placed? You just informed Samantha that the bills would be paid for, yet you did not provide her with the reassurance and documentation that she would not be responsible for the hospital costs. Why?
  89. You represented the Adoption Alliance and the adoptive couple. Wasn’t it your job to ensure that all bills were paid for before the child was given up for adoption? Or are mothers to fend for themselves regarding paying medical bills?
  90. What follow-up did you take to assure that  Samantha was not financially trapped once you had her sign all paperwork?
  91. You state that once a document is signed that it is legally binding and not revocable. Does that apply to your documentation stating that Ms. Stamos or the Adoption Alliance would be liable for all medical bills incurred?
  92. At a specific signing, you state that Samantha commented about the adoptive couple, immediately following you state Samantha made no comments. Which is it?
  93. You state that Samantha said she ‘ felt good about the hospital and she felt good about the adoptive couple. Yet a nurse had to ask everyone to leave the room because Samantha was so upset. Were you aware of that?
  94. An ICP ( Interstate Compact ) was needed before a child could leave the state, is that correct? Yet after the child was taken out of the state, a second ICP was needed because Samantha had not signed the original. Why has the child been let out of the state before the ICP was in place? The second ICP was signed on November 4, much later after the child’s birth on October 22.
  95. You state that during a meeting between yourself , Samantha, and Ms. Winter, that Samantha had not filled out all documents, that in fact Ms. Winter filled out the documents. Why were others continually filling out documents if you believe that Samantha knew what she was signing throughout the process?
  96. You state that regarding yet another document that you had read that document to Samantha, and once again you state ‘ not verbatim.’ Why did you continually omit pertinent information? 
  97. You were asked if you recalled talking to Samantha about a 30-Day consent that she may revoke this adoption. You state ‘ no . ‘ You state that Samantha read this document, then you state that you once again paraphrased the document. Which part of this document did you omit? 
  98. Were you aware that at the same time Samantha was given a 3-Day document saying that she could not revoke her decision?
  99. Which one took precedence?
  100. Samantha was given another document stating that she could contact Adoption Alliance and the court to report that she did not want to go through with the adoption within the 30 days. Yet sometime during this meeting, where did a 3-Day non-revocable document come into place?
  101. There seems to be conflicting accounts as to which documents were in place in your presence. Do you recall there being a 3-Day non-revocable document that Samantha was given at this time?
  102.  Did in fact Samantha sign the 30-Day documentation stating that she may revoke before the 30 days? Yet you stated earlier that you knew the adoptive couple would be taking a ‘ legal risk ‘ by taking the child. Did Samantha sign this 30-Day document in your presence?
  103. You state that there were 3 documents stating that all documents were irrevocable. But you also state that you paraphrased and stated that she had 30 days to revoke. Which is it? Which is pertinent?
  104. Did Samantha sign both documents? You state she signed both, correct?
  105. You continually state that  Samantha signed and initialed documentation, yet when you erred in signing a portion of your own documentation, you had to contact Samantha. How then could this child been let out-of-state with important signatures missing by both yourself and Samantha. Again, pertinent information was not in place.  
  106. At this point you met with Samantha at Starbucks. Could this process have been stopped at that point? Did you inform Samantha  that she could change her mind at that time?
  107. Why did you feel it was alright for a professional person such as yourself, to have your family present at Starbucks at this time? Did that not violate Samantha ‘s privacy?
  108. Could this meeting have been rushed because of your family being there?
  109. Is it normal procedure for you to bring your family along to such an important matter such as an adoption? You state that there was a snowstorm, in fact there was no storm.
  110. You state that the adoptive couple had driven from Reno to Las Vegas, that they couldn’t leave the state. How did you come to believe that this was appropriate before all documents were signed?
  111. You state that on November 3,you had your boss Jo M. work on the ICP documentation. You state that the adoptive couple were in Las Vegas from the tome they took the child born on October 22 until November 3. Where is the documentation stating that in fact the documents were faxed within Las Vegas and not in California? Did the adoptive couple stay 12 days in the state of Nevada before going home to California? 
  112. You state that you had experience with ICP cases, yet you were fully aware that the ICP was not intact before the adoptive couple took the child, is that correct? You then had to contact your boss. You failed to obtain a crucial piece of documentation, correct? you knew there was a ‘ legal risk ‘ at hand, correct? 
  113. At this time did you inform your boss that you were fully aware that there was risk for the adoptive couple to take the child?
  114. During this whole process, who was representing Samantha ?
  115. At the time of deposition you state that you had more experience in reunification, that you worked with families to keep children in the care of their biological parents. With your expertise did you offer  Samantha plan to keep her child or did you focus only on an adoption and obtaining her signature?
  116. You state that you had limited counseling education, that you just had schoolwork and continuing education units. In your opinion, does this make you a certified counselor in regards to a mother keeping her child? you state that you just had a general education, so you were not qualified to continually state Samantha knew exactly what she was signing throughout the ‘ barrage ‘ of paperwork as you state she was given. Is this correct?
  117. You state that you did not explain to Samantha that with Lupita being present that her confidentiality was being breached. Why did you not inform Samantha of this?
  118. Also with your family being present at one of the signings, as your family was walking around, was this not breaching Samantha’s confidentiality again?
  119. You state at the time of your first meeting that Samantha did not ask a single question and that a fair amount of talking was between yourself and Lupita. Do you believe Samantha  could not speak for herself? Shouldn’t have all your dialog been between yourself and Samantha, and not yourself and Lupita?
  120. You acknowledge that in fact  Samantha had not chosen the adoptive couple, that it was explained to you that they were friends of Lupita’s sister. Yet you continually state that Samantha  chose the couple.  
  121. You state that when you had Samantha  initial or sign her name to documents, that you took her nodding and eye contact as an affirmation that she understood what was being read to her. Yet in fact, are you aware that people who nod and affirm with the eyes, and even smiling, may do so without understanding what is being said? Is this not what people who do not speak our language do so they do not appear to be ignorant? A person of your educational background should be aware of this, shouldn’t they?
  122. As a neutral party, why would you not suggest that a professional party represent Samantha  and not Ms. Stamos?
  123. What led you to believe that Ms. Stamos had Samantha’s best interest at heart?
  124. Did you ask Ms. Stamos of her educational background, especially dealing with an adoption?
  125. Did you ask Ms. Stamos if she was being compensated or given gifts for being involved in this adoption? She in fact was given jewelry, she and her husband treated to dinner , flown to the baby shower, and who knows what else.
  126. Are you aware that according to Nevada State Law, that receiving gifts for the adoption of a child is illegal? And that a person other than the biological parent cannot be involved in the adoption process, regardless of what you were told?
  127. With the faxes coming and going from Ms. Stamos place of employment, the faxes were retrieved by Ms. Stamos and her co-workers, didn’t this violate Samantha’s confidentiality with so many people involved?
  128. Would it be appropriate to assume that with so many people involved, that maybe Samantha was overlooked and bypassed on an issue of enormous magnitude such as an adoption?
  129. Is it normal procedure to have, for a mother who is in control of herself and child, need so many others involved in an adoption?
  130. At any point did anyone at any of the final documentation signing, ever say to  Samantha ‘ you may stop at this point if you want to?’  Wouldn’t it have been appropriate to do so?
  131. Did you ever suggest to Samantha to take her time reading and signing all the documents that were thrust in front of her? Your statement ‘ no . ‘
  132. You state that you were to see Samantha and assess whether she needed counseling, yet you only met with her less than 5 hours throughout several meetings. None of which you were alone. How did you come to the conclusion that she was emotionally stable?
  133. You suggest that if you ‘ sensed ‘ that Samantha  needed counseling you would have suggested it. What questioning did you use, how many questions were there, and how much time had you allowed to make an accurate conclusion?
  134. You continually use wording such as Samantha ‘ feels, or appears ‘ throughout the adoption process. How does one make a decision such as yourself, that you can tell what someone feels, or appears in lieu of verbal expression or concerns? How did you come to rely on your ‘ informed decision . ‘ Are you an expert in non-verbal body language?
  135. Due to you being hired by the adoptive couple, would it be safe to assume that you had their best interest at hand, or you may have felt an obligation towards them?
  136. You state that you are to remain unbiased, yet you state that you are looking at what happens after to the birth mother. Did you in fact follow-up? Were you aware that the mother, Samantha was not well and living in her car after Ms. Stamos asked her to leave her home? If you had followed-up, you would have known this.
  137. You state that if you felt it necessary that the birth mother needed counseling that you would suggest it, is that correct? Yet you state that you were under time constraints, so how did you bypass a crucial component in regards to this adoption?
  138. Through the many documents that were signed and not signed, that through all your confusion in not obtaining certain signatures, since you were confused, and ill prepared, and although this is your line of work, would you not believe that Samantha was also confused in all the paper signing she did? You continually were faxing and hurrying this adoption. If this was consensual doing on Samantha’s part, why was there so much confusion and eagerness to complete these documents?
  139. You were asked if you believed that you should obtain a psychological or psychiatric evaluation of Samantha . You stated          ‘ no . ‘ If in fact you had you asked this question, and suggested that some form of professional help be in place that you would have known that Samantha  was tested immediately when her family was made aware, by a forensic psychologist and that the findings were that Samantha ‘ had not known what she was signing. ‘
  140. Who first contacted you regarding this adoption?
  141. How did the adoptive couple first come into contact with your agency?
  142. Were you paid any money in this adoption? If yes, how much and what type of payment was it, fees, charges, etc. Who made the payment?
  143. What was the urgency in this adoption? Why was it that the adoption had to be completed in the 28 Days it took from the time Samantha acknowledged her pregnancy and gave birth?
  144. Were you aware that Lupita was receiving gifts, jewelry, dinner, a plane ticket, and whatever else SHE received for Samantha ‘s child?
  145. You state that if Samantha would have taken her baby home, that she was ‘ not to go off on her own somewhere, that the baby was to be with her. ‘ At this point, no paperwork was final, shouldn’t Samantha had been able to do what she chose regarding her own child?
  146. Supposedly, Lupita was there for ‘ moral support ‘ for Samantha. If Lupita was there only for ‘ moral support ‘ , why was she the one handling paperwork, appointments, phone calls, etc.?
  147. Lupita states that Samantha was 18 and that this adoption was her decision. Then why did she handle every aspect of this adoption? Shouldn’t Samantha have handled every aspect herself since she was 18 and of ‘ sound mind ‘ ? Why were you even talking to Lupita and asking her questions? Why was Lupita involved at all, especially in making decisions and having arrangements being made through Lupita and not Samantha?
  148. Were you aware that Samantha was distraught and crying and asking for her father at the hospital? If so, why was he not contacted as per her request? Her request was completely ignored. Perhaps everyone knew that had he been called and been made aware, this adoption would have come to a screeching halt.
  149. Who called the adoptive couple to notify them of the birth? And when exactly did they arrive? Were you aware that they were there immediately following the birth, violating the Adoption Alliance rule that there shall be no contact with the mother and her baby and the couple for the first 72 hours? That time is intended for mother and child to bond. Why was this rule ignored?
  150. Why did you allow Lupita to be so involved in this adoption when it wasn’t her child? Therefore, no decisions were hers to make, no gifts were hers to take. She shouldn’t have been making any calls, plans, or speaking for Samantha in any way, shape, or form.
  151. Were you aware that Lupita had introduced herself to hospital staff as Samantha ‘s guardian? Therefore she was allowed to make certain decisions? She was not Samantha ‘s guardian and did not have power of attorney over Samantha.
  152. Were you aware that Lupita and her husband met over dinner with the adoptive couple to discuss the adoption, without Samantha even being present? Samantha felt uncomfortable and left so once again she was not involved and completely bypassed.
  153. It states in the paperwork that the medical bills would be paid by the Adoption Alliance or the adoptive couple. To date, the medical bills remain unpaid, is that not breach of contract and unjust enrichment?
  154. The Adoption Alliance website states that they seek to help each birth mother not just with an adoption plan, but with an overall life plan. What was Samantha ‘s overall life plan? Was she provided this service? Are you aware that Lupita wrote a life plan list of goals for Samantha?
  155. Why did you continually go against policy regarding this adoption?

            > did not meet with the birth mother alone

            > took information from and dealt with a third-party

            > allowed the adoptive couple contact with the baby prior to the

                72 Hour Rule?

           > faxing paperwork to a third-party

           > allowing the adoption to go through knowing of the ‘ legal risk. ‘

           > allowing the adoptive couple to take the baby even though the 

               birth father had signed no paperwork

           > left the birth mother over $20,000 in debt

           > handling this adoption at such absurd places such as                  

               Denny’s and Starbucks

 

Love & Support From Around The World ….

Getting so much love, kindness, and support from strangers around the world makes my spirit soar. Knowing I am not alone really makes a difference and I’m thankful that awareness is being slowly raised about such a taboo subject. Below are the countries that have been reached, so far …. 

 

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