Archive | December 2005

Adoption: the LAST option

It’s hard to believe that even after all that we’ve been through, I am not against adoption.

I believe in adoption, under the right circumstances.

Adoption should be for children without homes, not homes without children.

Some adoptive parents seem to be too much like politicians. They tell you everything you want to hear and nothing you need to know. If something is truly an act of love, there should be no secrets, no lies, no selfish motives. It needs to be realised that adoption affects so many people, it changes identities and traditions.

Adoption is a severing. Too many people “buy and sell” children every year,  ripped from their families and molded into what the adoptive “parents” want them to be.

They force traditions on them that have no personal relevance. They keep family from them that need. They keep facts from them that they need to know.

This particular “adoptive couple” knew the circumstances of my sister’s situation, and they capitalized to the fullest.

No conscience, no remorse from taking the child that still has no relation to them or business being with them, playing house to hide Katie’s infertility.

Is it really worth completely destroying so many lives, especially that of MY NIECE?

One day she’ll know the truth, and I literally count the days thinking forward to our vindication.

In Loving Memory of Great-Great Grandmother

My baby love, Nevaeh….

You were named after your great-great grandmother.

She passed away December 11, 2000.

She was not only my great-grandmother, she was also my Godmother.

The night before on December 10th at 11:30 pm, I was getting ready to work the graveyard shift and suddenly I had this overwhelming feeling that my grandma was going to die.

It was like she was letting me know.

I started crying, I told everyone that was around me, I was absolutely certain that it was time.

She had been sick off and on from old age, but she was in reasonably good

health and things were fine as far as I knew.

I went to work, stressed and with a knot in my stomach, barely able to

concentrate. The night felt longer than usual and I was all wound up and

couldn’t wait to get off.

I think it was about 7:30 the next morning, my mom called me and told me my grandma had

passed away that morning after she made a pot of coffee and laid back down.

She went peacefully in her own bed, in her own home, where she was most comfortable.

As much as losing her makes me want to spend the day crying a mixture of happy and sad tears

as I recall the memories of her, I can’t. I can’t just get under the covers and reminisce.

About our Grandma…. She was so funny, and everyone called her grandma including her many,

many grandchildren. She was tough as nails but had that soft side to her as well. I distinctly

remember getting tickled and scrubbed by her rough hands during bath time. Her rough

hands told the story about her life. She loved quarter pounders and an occasional Coors Light.

She was loved by so many and took care of countless children, related and not.

The funeral ceremony was so lovely, and we planned the usual three-

day funeral and gatherings with meticulous detail.

It was the most endearing way to celebrate of the life of our family matriarch.

Today is the anniversary of her passing, and I can’t take the time to grieve her

loss today, letters to write and things to be done so we can get you home.

I just wanted you to know that today, I’m not only aching from your absence but this day is also

in remembrance and celebration of the life of our grandma.

Grandma always called herself “Julie” and I’ll tell you the story behind that later on, when we’re

having one of our auntie-niece sleepovers.

Your mommy and she were extremely close, and your mommy took it very hard when she passed.

They loved each other and got along blissfully.

She named you after someone she loves so much, and misses incredibly. Our grandma was a

strong and loving woman, she never had it easy but still managed to have this loving way about

her that attracted everyone to her.

I used to sit on the porch with her and listen to the most fascinating

stories for hours on end. When we reconnect, I’ll tell you all about her.

So my love, it’s important that you know that you were named after our grandma, and your name

has a beautiful meaning behind it. Today her life should be remembered and celebrated. She is

greatly missed.

And today like every day, you are dearly missed.

I love you with all my heart and I can’t wait for you to come home.

Love Forever….