It hurts every day, and every day it feels like the day lasts forever. I lie in bed at night going over all the details in my mind, the cut still fresh. I think about what I’ll say to my niece when we finally meet face to face. I keep reliving all the hurtful moments, all the tears, all the frustration. I wish that I could just take my niece in my arms and never let her go.
I think about the people who caused us all this pain and wonder how they can look at themselves in the mirror.
I think about what life would have been like if this had never happened to us. This is a burden that I will carry for many years to come, and I wonder how I will ever do it. I sometimes have to force myself from thinking about it because it hurts too much. I never knew that crying was physically painful, it actually hurts to cry. I look at her pictures and I want to crawl in bed and cry.
I can’t grasp the fact that so much time has gone by. I was supposed to be so close to the niece I waited for. I was supposed to be the one aunt she would have that would shower her with love and affection. So much has been stolen from us. Memories were taken that never had a chance to get made.
The most important things I need my niece to know is that I love her so much, and I’ve never stopped trying to bring her home to her rightful family. We never gave up. We never stopped missing her. She is still a part of our family even though we are apart from each other. She still belongs to us….