Archive | September 17, 2014

Life After Loss

” Taking time to live life will only inspire your work. “

~ Author Unknown

 

 

It took me a lifetime to learn that life after disaster is worth living.

When the news broke that life as we knew it was a thing of the past, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe, I fell to the floor, I became sick. I heard my heart thumping in my ears.

I hurt from within so badly, that I didn’t want to live to go through it.

Day after day, my sanity and survival hung in the balance.

I had to rearrange, reevaluate, and redesign my whole life.

It has taken many years for me to comprehend  that although I feel like I died inside, on the outside I am still alive.

I realized I shouldn’t feel guilty if I smiled, if I laughed. God knows the pain is still there no matter how much make-up I wear or how high my heels are.

It hit me that I owed it to my children to make their lives as wonderful as possible. I looked into their eyes, and they were searching for me. They needed me and I began to really feel that.

I made it a point to want to not only live life, but to live it in unique and fulfilling ways. I begged God for His mercy as I placed all of my heartache and paralyzing pain at His feet.

I had to learn to live again, and it wasn’t something that came easily. For a long time, I had to force a smile. But gradually as I prayed my anguish away, I started to dream again.

Life is a gift, and I am worth being alive. I deserve to live in peace instead of pain. God can take something awful and turn it into something beautiful, and that is the light at the end of the tunnel ….

 

 

 

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