I am just absolutely dumbfounded that nearly ten years have gone by.
I still can’t make sense of it. I keep rolling different scenarios around my mind, can this all just be a horrible nightmare?
I’ve missed so much of my baby niece’s life. I have prayed until I have fallen asleep in the midst of asking God for his mercy, I have wished on every falling star I’ve seen. I want her back so badly. I want to hug her, kiss her, and just let my eyes soak in her beauty. I want to get in our jammies with a good book, snuggled under the covers with hot chocolate and scented candles burning bright. I want to hold our hands up to each other and see how much they look the same. I want her to look into a face that resembles her own.
I long so deeply for peace; an emotional peace that only she can bring. I write letters to her that I’m not even certain she will ever get. I buy her gifts and put them away, I have keepsakes for her that I can only dream of giving her. I’m doing my best to stay positive and keep her with me as much as I can. Until we are free to have a relationship without ridiculous restrictions, all we can do is be stuck in limbo.
It’s amazing to me how people can do such horrific things, then put on a face of an angel. The wicked go on with their lives and are blessed because Satan does reward devious, selfish, and unfavorable behavior.
But in the Bible it also says in Psalms 37:17 ” For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous. ” I believe that with all my heart. Good always prevails over evil, without fail.
I wait anxiously for this all to just go away. I want to think about something other than how the filth involved in this swooped in like vultures and snatched our baby away with their claws. I want the truth about this adoption to be told.
It wasn’t right, and there is no other way to say it.
Shame on all those who took part in this ugliness; make no mistake, you will reap what you have sown.
And ” They that sow in tears shall reap in joy “….. Psalms 126:5