I’m stuck in thought about my niece and I miss her. I miss her so incredibly much.
I just want to talk to her.
I just want to sit and read to her.
I want to teach her.
I want to take her around the world as well as the parks, gardens and special places I go nearby.
I want to paint our fingers and toes and laugh about silly nothings.
I want her to be here in her socks and jammies, with blankets and piles of pillows on our gorgeous midnight blue carpet for our movie nights having homemade popcorn, surrounded by candles, carrying on one of our many family traditions.
We all feel this emptiness, this longing, this overwhelming ‘ want.’
No matter how happy we are, how blessed we feel, nothing is ever quite complete. It’s a constant battle to balance hope and hate, epiphanies and confusions ….
Nerve-wracking is an understatement, and all we can do is wait. (Here is where I take in a really deep breath and exhale slowly as I still try to get a grip on this, still in disbelief.)
None of this is fair, and I don’t want to have to deal with any of it any more.
The helplessness I feel is slow and silent, tucked away because I have no time to break down.
I’m tired, I’m irritated, I’m frustrated, AND I will happily never give up. (Here is where I smile.)
If you never saw ‘ true love ‘ filled with passion and fueled by faith, here it is, literally spelled out ….