Archive | October 2015

Babygirl, Meet Your Pappy ….


A couple of days ago, I was cleaning out some old boxes. I came across a CD case I used to have in the days before Rhapsody.

A lover of road trips and always the DJ, the music is my favorite part. I had already decided to dump all the CD’s because I didn’t want to go back to any of those places that those particular pieces of music led me to or through.  I just wanted to thumb through it once just to look for my friend’s album ( which, thankfully, I found. My dear friend is the lead singer/guitarist/drummer of 3D: Thrice Denied. The same friend literally sang me through the most horrible moments of this heartache. She has also seen firsthand what this has done to me in particular, and can definitely vouch for me that this dreadful situation changed / took me).

I got to the last page and gasped.

I found this picture.

It is one of only a few pictures of my dad and our Babygirl.

The same eyes and the same hair color …. two hearts with the same beat ….

We lovingly call him Pappy, Pap for short.

The love this man has for this child in his arms is immeasurable.

This is grandfather and granddaughter, and simply, it is beautiful ….

A Candle and a Prayer ….


Last night, right after midnight, I began to make a card for my niece. Something more I will add to her Hope Chest, heartfelt wishes on specialty stationery written in calligraphy style writing. I stayed in prayer all day, trying to get through another day, as if this one were any less painful than all the others.

I’m a candle collector, having gotten candles from around the world and close to home as well. I feel a great peace when I am surrounded by them, so nearly on a daily basis I have one or more burning.

Tonight, just before midnight, I said one more prayer to wrap up the day that brings us one day closer to having our baby back in our lives. This candle was the perfect added touch to my everlasting prayer of being reunited with the little girl who has all of our hearts.

A beautiful little cake with a raspberry on top, the flame so bright and meaningful, I felt the tears running down my face and the ache of her absence deep in my soul. I so anxiously await her return, and I’m thankful that we’re that one day closer. One day may not seem like much to some people, but one day for us is like a lifetime.

I miss her. I love her. I wish there were more words to convey the depth of the emotion behind those few simple words.

Happy Birthday to my sweet love …. your family is waiting in hope, and in love ….

A Love That Knows No Time or Distance ….

Happy Birthday, Babygirl ….

I wish I could give you a big hug and spend your special day with you.

My morning class was cancelled today, and I’m grateful for that. I just feel like spending the day with a pot of tea and a good book.

I miss you so much and barely a moment goes by that I’m not thinking of you.

Today, forever, and always …. I love you ….