All I Ever Wanted.

Life is a gift.

Every moment is valuable.

I don’t waste time because you never know how much time you have. And once it’s gone, you can never get it back.

With the recent surgery I had, the dreams and premonitions I’ve had, the overlapping traumas I have survived …. I never take life or its magnificent beauty for granted.

I have prayed that God will keep His arms around me and keep me safe. I take care of every person in my life, and all I can think of is who will take care of all of them if something were to happen to me.

Who would serve their plates, who would take them for midnight milkshakes, who would kiss their booboos?

I’m not replaceable, and no one can do things with my particular touch. I give my everything to those I love. I pour my love over them and my energy into them.

Everywhere I have been, all the fascinating things I have experienced as the Life-of-the-Party, I’ve been picked up and swept off my feet, all the loving and learning I’ve done …. Should I die tomorrow, I have lived a full and beautifully unique life. I am a baptized and born-again Christian, and I know that heaven awaits me.

I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, learned a lot, and grown into the person I always wanted to be.

But nothing is ever perfect.

There is literally one missing piece in my life’s tapestry.

My niece.

I broke down and wept, and made my daughter promise me that if anything were to happen to me before I got to be with my niece, that she would tell her that all I ever wanted was to hold her. I begged her not to forget to tell her.

All I ever wanted was to be with her, to be her auntie, to teach her things, and to protect her from the world.

I have gotten everything in life that I ever wanted up to this point. I’ve been blessed, I’ve seen the world, I have experienced more in a weekend than most experience in a year. I feel whole, I am fulfilled. I am loved, I am desired. All that is missing is the little girl who holds the key to my heart.

So just in case something were to happen, I want my niece to know that she was all I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of. She is all I ever longed for, all that I fought for, all that I cried for, all that made me who I am.

She is my love, she is my life, she is really and truly all I ever wanted ….

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