Haunted. At 1:25 a.m.

grace

I was just organizing some paperwork, in a fairly new file folder, and this picture was inside. I used to have little pictures of her everywhere, and I still find them in places I don’t even remember I put them, or when. 

Once again, it feels like the wind got knocked out of me. I was trying to keep busy because I can’t sleep, and here I am now, taking deep breaths, to hold it together. 

It never goes away. 

It never stops hurting.

It’s never not at the surface. 

My niece is almost 18, and that in itself leaves me speechless. And so sad. And only filled, with an emptiness. 

God, please bring our baby home, our hearts are so heavy and so broken without her. If ever a wish were to come true, please let it be this one ….

 

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